How can we help when they're so far away?

We emailed the boy's teachers today. We still haven't gotten a copy of their report card from the 2nd six weeks. The First grader's teacher said that she'd sent a copy of his report card home a long time ago and she sent his progress report home yesterday, but that she can send another copy if we need it. It amazes me. Now, I know teachers are very busy & at that age group it can be difficult to keep up with everybody. We just let her know that they aren't together and that BM doesn't share any information regarding the boys' education.

On the 5th grader, the teacher knows the situation, but was not aware that we'd sent envelopes to the school so they could send us their information. Personally, I think the principal is a jerk. He kept putting off Cory when he'd ask about information. I know, I've said it before. Teachers are busy people. He was just wanting to touch base with their teachers and let them know what was going on. But the principal would say "let's just wait.... I've talked to them personally and I think they're adjusting just fine" junk like that. DH had to practically threaten him with legal action becuase he just would not give us any information, which DH is legally justified in requesting and having! And come to find out, neither one of them is doing OK. The 5th grader failed 3 out of 5 subjects. The 1st grader (they have the 1-5 grading system) and had three 1's and two 2's. Not good.

And we have suspicions that they're still not doing well. Which was confirmed today by the 5th grader's teacher. She said he "is continuing to have the same problems we discussed before. He is not turning in his assignments, goofing off in class and arguing with adults about consequences." He's a talker. He won't stop, even if it gets him in trouble. He has to finish his thought, make his point even if he's wrong. We've talked to him about it until we're blue in the faces and he still argues. Not so much with us but everyone else it seems. (Personally, I just ignore him, turn my back on him. I can see that would be hard to do in a class w/ 27 kids!)

Here's Cory's response to that teacher:
He did mention last week about a report for social studies that he needed to do. We did some research on the internet together and he said he had all he needed to finish up. This last weekend I asked him how he did on it and he said "not so great, there was more to it than I thought". So we talked about it. I could tell that he's having some big problems paying attention. He said he only found out about the report 3 days before it was due and only because a classmate had given him a copy of the assignment. I asked why he woudn't have been given the assignment at the same time as everybody else and he said it was because he was doing make-up work.

And her's back:
We actually worked on that Social Studies report for 3 1/2 Weeks for 45 minutes each day. It was actually part of his Reading Intervention Group, which meets every day for 45 minutes. Mrs. W and myself oversee that class. We actually spent 1 week in the computer lab just doing internet research. Then the rest of the time was spent compiling the information and putting together the book. Seth chooses to do other things instead of his assigned work. Just yesterday I had to take away a magazine he was reading instead of doing his math work. He is an extremely intelligent boy, but his grades are not reflective of that because he does not do his work in class or at home. Please let me know if I can help you out in any other way. I want him to be successful in the 5th grade.

And this is the delimma.... What can we do? We live almost 200 miles away. If it were an option to go to the school to meet their teachers, we'd have done it at the first opportunity! This is one of the reasons (of many, I promise) that we're fighting for custody of them. We've seen it before, the teachers try and try to contact BM about the problems their kids are having and BM ignores it! For whatever reason, and believe me, we've got no clue why she woudln't do everything in her power to help them. We've seen (just recently) that one of the reasons she moved them from where she was living & working to her mother's is beacuse the teachers were trying to get the (now) 1st grader into tutoring. They wanted him to do councelling to help understand him and his problems. She made it very hard on THEM for him to do tutoring (which was mandentory, by the way) and she completely ignored them on the councelling. She kept responding to their emails with "he wasn't doing this before he moved here, he didn't have any of these problems, maybe you should contact his old school!". When the teacher and the principal asked and asked her for a parent/teacher conference she told them she was withdrawing them from school. And she told DH that she didn't like the way the admin was treating him. No, they were trying to HELP him and all she saw was they were accusing her of being a bad mom.

I know one of the reasons she w/drew them from school was so that the (now) 1st grader would pass. It was his first attempt at Kindergarten. And it had worked before... when the (now) 5th grader was in 1st grade he had so many absences and tardies that he was going to fail! So (of course there were other reasons, but) she w/drew him from that school and moved him back to her mother's. It makes me crazy. The 5th grader has been moved 8 times, he's been in 5 different school districts. His younger brother has been moved 4 times and has been in 3 different school districts. That can't be good for a child! Not to mention the 5th grader has a really hard time making friends. And the tardies and absences are still a problem now.

Help!! I need ideas, something to try. We've tried talking to him (the 5th grader) about his attitude, both towards the teachers and towards doing his work. I just don't know what else to try.